4-Mar-2000

    Wow, I haven't updated this thing all week. My social calendar was actually full for the first time in months. I had pool on Wednesday, volleyball on Thursday and my friend AP's gone party last night. It was a good time. I drank a little too much and ended up at Denny's. It's been a while since I've "ended up" at Denny's. So, I'm now sloshing down the coffee, I've taken the Advil, and I have to muster enough patience to pop my new contacts in. Another half hour and I'll trudge downstairs and poke my fingers in my eyes for a good thirty minutes. I've only had the contacts for 3 days, and it is a unique experience, well it's not actually unique, hundreds of thousands of people have them, but it is different none-the-less.

    It just occurred to me that I am working on my internet voice. Whether I like it or not, I'm self-editing and massaging what I have to say to fit into whatever it is that I'm going to reveal about myself. 

    I'm taking a step back in time right now, I'm listening to the soundtrack to Pretty in Pink. It's a great soundtrack. I'm listening to Track 4 right now, "Do Wot You Do" by Inxs. I think I'll put it on my next mix tape. I love the chorus to the song, "I need every minute with you, no one else can do wot you do" It's simple and to the point, but it's Michael Hutchence singing it, which makes a difference.  

    I was able to survive putting the contacts in. I'm suffering from lack of sleep on top of everything else, so naturally my eyes are in weird form. My cat kept getting up last night and I woke up nearly once an hour. I finally shooed her out the door and closed it. She cried, she howled, she paced. She even put her paws under the door to see if she could get in. On one level it was cute, but I had a low tolerance for cute this morning. ahhh sleep.


5-Mar-2000

    It's the weekend and I was able to work on this thing for a wee bit. I was finally able to get the digital camera to work with my computer today, not a small victory I must say. The solution was simple, the process took some time. I set up the photo studio tonight and took pictures of the Cure album covers. When I say photo studio, I say it tongue and cheek, I don't know the first thing about taking pictures, but I'm learning.

    I was able to remove both contacts on my first try today. Yeah! Now if I can shorten the time it takes to put them in I'll be in business. For some reason, my eyes are constantly dried out when I have the contacts in. I wonder if I need to drink more water, or if I'll adjust over time. Well, it won't hurt to drink more water, I hear it flushes out the impurities in your body. Now if I can only figure out what I can do with my thoughts...


6-Mar-2000

    Received an E-Mail from my brother who is helping me determine where things are looking a bit off, or if something is particularly hard to navigate. He is using Netscape and I use I.E. so I do appreciate the help, who knows how things will be interpreted in different browsers. So on his advice I've added links for my Diary and my Pictures back to my home page. I'll get a little more creative with both of those pages when I get a chance, but it least it will be functional. I plan to redesign my Music Page entirely, but since I'm still adding major content, I think it will be awhile before I get to it.

    "She's Gotta Have It" is on TV. This was the first movie made by Spike Lee. I liked his first couple of movies, but haven't kept up with his work since then. When this movie came out, it was described as a Woody Allenesque film. And since Spike Lee is a slight guy who directs and acts in his films, who could dismiss the comparison.

    It must be spring. It seems that I'm getting E-mail from all quarters these days, now that the snow is melting people are coming out and saying hello. I'm not complaining. It's just an observation. 


7-Mar-2000

    Today was a pretty good day overall. It's been a bit rough at work over the last few days, and today started no different. As with any job you've got deadlines to meet, but the unique part of my job is that it can sometimes be completely event driven. Clients call in with an emergency request and we need to respond quickly, sometimes we save the day, and sometimes we're left holding the bag. Most of the time we do not receive any credit/thanks for pulling their butts out of the fire. Well, today I finally received some encouraging words from one of our client contacts, which helps enormously. I believe that people need to feel as though their hard work is rewarded. In the corporate world it usually means a raise, but let's be honest, that may come once a year if you're lucky. Meanwhile, a thank you goes a long way. BTW, she also encouraged me to send my resume. I need to update that thing, and not spend time mucking with my web site. *Mental Note* (Work on Resume)

    I've been listening to the Fixx's greatest hits album. The Fixx were part of the new wave bands that were so popular during the 80's. They had a few hit including "One Thing Leads To Another", "Red Skies" and "Saved by Zero", my personal favorite of theirs has always been "Secret Separation". 


10-Mar-2000

    Today is Friday, and it's been a monumental week for my father and one of my friends. They both found new jobs. In both cases it is the beginning of another chapter in their lives. My father who had been working from home for the last couple of years, will be returning to the commute that many of us share. Congratulations Dad! My friend MK will be leaving us, but Softball is coming up, so we'll see her in the near future, though not as often. Congratulations MK, and I toast your future. This is the second of a number of friends who will be moving into new jobs over the next 6 months. Thirty-Eight jobs in my company were moved to Colorado. Unfortunately, my job was one of them, although I will be employed here until September. I don't have any bitter feelings, this has been a great start to a very promising future. I have met some fabulous people who have had quite an impact on my life and for the first time I feel as though all that potential that I was told I possessed has been realized. That is not to say, that I have achieved all that I can, far from it, but I no longer feel like I'm behind the curve. 

    The strangest thing happened. I was working on trying to get my site searchable on the net, so before I looked into help to find out how to do it, I added comments to a few of my pages. Well, for some reason, I could not publish my site on MSN, it totally screwed up my FTP. I removed the comments and it published fine. I was starting to get a little worried that I wouldn't be able to publish anything this weekend, since I couldn't tell from first glance whether I caused something or if MSN was having difficulties. 

    I watched Moonlighting for the first time in over 10 years tonight, it's still good after all these years, Bravo has picked it up and airs it nightly (I think). Sex and the city is currently on HBO, I wonder if I'm becoming enlightened, misled or entertained by this show. It is entertaining, but I do wonder if the thoughts of women can ever be summed up by Sarah Jessica Parker. Then again, are men as easy to define as I sometimes think they are? Mars and Venus. Mars and Venus.  


11-Mar-2000

    I just found out about the coolest thing! The Soundtrack to "The Million Dollar Hotel" is coming out this Tuesday here in the U.S. It looks as though I'll have to go to new album Tuesday this week. I haven't been participating in New Album Tuesday very often these days. Rap rules the market, and I like musicians who play there own music (Oooh, I know, low blow, I'm just jealous that I didn't think of stealing somebody's work and talking over a familiar melody first.) 

    Oh, the reason why I'm excited by this, is because the movie is based on a story line that Bono developed. The movie stars Mel Gibson, Milla Jovovich, Jimmy Smits and Jeremy Davies. The film is directed by Wim Wenders who made "Wings of Desire". "City of Angels" is a Hollywood adaptation of "Wings of Desire". But I still haven't told you why I'm excited by the Soundtrack. The Soundtrack includes two new U2 tracks, and 3 other tracks co-written by Bono. Most of the rest of the tracks involve "The Million Dollar Hotel Band" which consists of Bono, Daniel Lanois, Brian Eno (Lanois and Eno produced the Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby, two of my favorites from U2)  and several other members that I'm not familiar with. 

    Once Bono completes the promotional tour for the new movie, he will get back in the studio to finish the new U2 album, which is supposed to be released later this year. Let's hope there's a tour!   


12-Mar-2000

    It's 2:15 on Sunday afternoon, and the whether is crap. It's miserable out there. Snowflakes are starting to fall. It's charming when it's November and the snow becomes a reminder that Christmas is coming, but right now I just want the promise of Spring.  

    I went on line for a little while and tried to participate in my first on-line chat with a star. Bono was doing a live chat on Yahoo and I got on for about 10 minutes.  For some reason my server was reset, and I decided not to bother going back online for it. People say the dumbest, inane things while they were waiting to hear Bono speak. It's as if you had a bunch of teenagers in a movie theatre heckling the previews (chances are most of them were teenagers, but whose to know when you have anonymity on your side.) In any case, I've never been much for chatting on-line. Years ago I chatted with a friend for a few weeks, it was a cheap alternative to long distance. But other than that, I can't really get into it. 

    It's now 8:00 PM on Sunday night and I did get some work done today, cleaned up the house a little bit, did the dishes and added some stuff to the site. Mostly I just did some reformatting of things, I haven't really added much. I don't want to say it was a wasted day, but I certainly haven't gotten what I've wanted out of it. Hmmm, maybe I should do laundry, that would save me from having to do it later in the week. 

    Well, I recommend listening to the "Muppet Movie Soundtrack" for a pick me up, I think it was the highlight of my day. Listening to those old tunes that I grew up with put a smile on my face. Moving Right Along....  


13-Mar-2000

    I love the show "Freaks and Geeks" The show is set in 1980 in Michigan. It's such a charming show. For me it's like going back in time, although I was much younger than the students on the show. All of the characters are in High School. I didn't start HS until 1988, but I do remember the fascination with Atari (Heck, we still own one, my parents want it back, Mom wants to play Frogger.), Star Wars, etc. I remember staying up to watch Saturday Night Live, and half of the time I fell asleep watching it. Check it out it's on Mondays at 8 on NBC. 

    Time to go to bed. Goodnight!  


14-Mar-2000

    Tomorrow is payday, couldn't come sooner in my opinion. It's funny how we live check to check to buy things that we want. I need to learn the art of saving. It takes a great amount of self-control to not satisfy every desire when you know the cost is too high. I think many of us have very little self-control, it's a fast food culture where our eyes flit to the next interesting thing. We don't invest, we take, we like bargains, we don't have a sense of place, a sense of station in life. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that if you grew up poor, you need to be satisfied with that, but realize that you will have to work to improve your position, it won't be given to you. Granted, opportunities are more available to those who are further up the ladder, but that doesn't mean your way is completely blocked. This rant is for those who believe they have a sense of entitlement. That the world owes them something, that their actions do not affect others, to be selfish enough to believe that their lives are so important they must drive on the shoulder to pass you, or that common courtesy does not pertain to them. Many people are so self-indulgent, only seeing the world through their own eyes. This is when I want to believe in Cosmic justice. That the wheel turns and people will be burned by their own selfishness. That they will lose what they've abused and neglected. I do believe in redemption, I do believe in forgiveness, but I also believe in penalties. I believe in consequences, I believe in rewards. It never balances, but if it were an incentive for people to look at others first, then it would be great incentive to stop looking at your life first all the time. It would be a con though, I love genuine people, I'm not so fond of those who calculate what an action will get them in the end. It's hard to trust a calculator, because you never know when you've out-lived your usefulness to them.  

    I've done all these things myself, I have been selfish, and I will be again. To some degree I do it every day, but I try to not forget how fortunate I am. I was given quite a bit to start this life. I'm not ugly, I'm not dumb, I have two loving parents and a family that supports me. (family is probably the best gift I received) At this time, I have a good job, I have great friends, and my health is good, despite what I do to myself. I've been given the opportunity to dream, and I try to never forget that I can't sit still for too long lest I get pushed under. But, if I do I can only blame myself, which brings another rant, too many people play the blame game. They don't take responsibility for their actions or their mistakes. An apology goes a long way toward mending fences with people. Admitting when you're at fault is a great trait that I admire in other people. Those who constantly blame others for their shortcomings only receive my contempt. We all falter, we all stumble, we are so imperfect. We are selfish.

    Well, that's it for tonight's diatribe, my view of the world. Wait, I just remembered something... When I was in 9th grade I had two friend-girls, Jen and Laura, we spent a lot of time together and they used to comment on my opinions, saying it was "The World According to Tim" I still have my world view, which is different than others. I'd like to think it rings truer than most, but the truth is, my world view keeps changing every day, and I can't even say that I'm closer to the truth than when I started. It's just my point of view, and I sometimes have a big mouth about it.

    I'm listening to the "Million Dollar Hotel Soundtrack" and I like it. It is very moody, very quiet over all, and it suits my mood, it sort of reminds me of the "Passengers" album which was created by U2 and Brian Eno with a few special guests (Pavarotti is on it). I am glad that this isn't the new U2 album, but it does whet my appetite for it :-) 

    To all my friends in flux, sleep well tonight, I'm thinking of you.


18-Mar-2000

    It's a little after midnight and St. Patrick's Day is over. I didn't really celebrate this year, like I have in the past. Last year, I got the lonely hearts club together and we all went out. This year at least half of the lonely hearts club is no longer lonely. I'm happy for them. This year, I didn't feel like going out, I got a very nice invitation to join a group of people, but it was too far to drive back, and I couldn't leave my car and take a cab if I got drunk. So instead I came home from work and took a two hour nap. I then drank a half pot of coffee and here I am working on the site. I started working on my U2 portion tonight. I really want to do a good job on this part because this is the part of my collection that I have the most of, I think I have more than 200 pieces in all. It's going to be huge and I want it to shine. 

    Today was interesting, I took yesterday off from work and I came to work today and my in-box was full. It's nice to be missed, but I don't like spending my mornings catching up. I've been listening to the soundtrack to the "Million Dollar Hotel" nonstop, I've really missed having new U2 music to listen to. It totally whets my appetite for a new U2 album. Something about Bono's voice is so... hmmm. How can I describe it, I can really feel something in the words when he sings. The voice has always been my favorite instrument, and inflections and punctuation of words always gets me, when someone can cause their voice to bleed, I feel it within. I think that is why I love strong vocals, it can be inspiring. 

    I'm starting to yawn, time to get some sleep. 

    I want to leave you with some lyrics from a song on the soundtrack. The song is called "Never Let Me Go" which is performed by Bono and the MDH Band. You need to hear it to really understand why I like it,  but here's the stanza. 
    "Maybe I was blind, or I might have closed my eyes. Maybe I was dumb, but what I forgot to say, if you didn't know, is never let me go."


19-Mar-2000

    I just finished watching the film "Empire of the Sun". I think I've seen it a half dozen times and it is still a fascinating film. Steven Spielberg is known for his blockbusters, but I forget how good a story teller he really is. As I was writing this I got a phone call from my photographer friend. I called her a few days ago asking for advice since I don't know the first thing about taking pictures. She gave me some tips, so I'll try to see if I can produce some better images using the digital camera. Thanks Mom for giving me the extra time to try to get this stuff to work. 

    My friend gave me a bunch of technical terms (she majored in photography) like aperture (sp?). So I'm trying to make the necessary changes and then it hit me... TOO MUCH COFFEE! I can't keep my hands still to save my life. So, she is going to let me borrow her tri-pod. I also have to take pictures during the day since I don't have enough artificial light to compensate. I also need to do this downstairs, because this attic only has a few windows. It's cozy enough, but I'm thinking the living room or the kitchen will do the trick. Hopefully Saturday will be sunny so I can do it then. 

    I think that I have the U2 structure down for how I want it to flow. I'm going to start going down that road and we'll see where it takes me. Since some of the more unique U2 items will not fit on a scanner, you'll have to wait until I get the tri-pod.  


20-Mar-2000

    It's a really nice feeling when you can create a page that is just cool. To have it just look nice and interesting. I just finished one of the "Do You Know?" bits for the U2 section and I had the perfect background and I just like the way it looks. The "Do You Know?" is for "Another Day". Check it out :-) This is what makes designing web pages fun, it's when you can present something in such a way that it just works.

    I've also added a picture of my cat Honey to my site. I was reminded that I should do this by a friend who asked if I had a picture of her. Thank You KP. I was moving around my site and I'm looking at all the areas that are partially finished and I'm like Ugh, I really need to find something interesting for that. Particularly in regards to the Me pages. All the pages have bland backgrounds. I'll take the defense of work in progress yet again. 

    Well I have to wrap tonight up, it's about 10:30 and I still have to publish my changes. Goodnight.


21-Mar-2000

    I've been working on the site for a while, and it's time to hit the sack, I'm happy to have put some more U2 content up. I'm particularly proud of the "I Will Follow" track listing page. I struggle with trying to provide pages with character and content. So when I can find an image that works for something, then it makes me happy. I was probably a little too happy with yesterday's page for "Another Day", but I don't want just plain white or black backgrounds if possible. On the other hand, I don't want to fill the page with so much junk that you just skip past everything either. It's a balance that is hard to maintain. Goodnight. 


23-Mar-2000

    I've just come back from volleyball, according to my clock on my computer it's 11:00 on the dot. We finally won a game, though for some reason it wasn't all that satisfying, it should be, but it I was still left wanting more. The fact is I think I just needed to work out some aggression or energy or tension or whatever you'd like to call it. It's spring and the birds and bees are starting to move about, but alas I think I'll have to pick up weight-lifting. Softball is around the corner, so that will help some I'm sure, besides our bodies become acclimated to the warm weather and thoughts of romance subside. Humans are strange creatures, intelligent to a certain degree but animals just the same. 

    Starting to yawn, will work on the site this weekend time permitting.


26-Mar-2000

    The weekend is almost over. I've spent a good portion of today working on my site. I've spent a lot of time double checking links, redoing images, rethinking things and retooling stuff. I even played with the Microsoft Gif Animator. I'm probably going to be using it soon to do something really simple. Whenever I work on my site I'm usually listening to something on the CD player or watching TV. TV stinks today so I've been listening to U2. Right now I'm listening to the singles off of "Pop". "If God Will Send His Angels" is in the player and I'm listening to a song called "Slow Dancing" which was written by Bono for Willie Nelson. 

    On Saturday I participated in a Man Auction to raise money for the wife of a man that I work with. A date with me went for $95. I was hoping to break a $100, but I'm not complaining, they raised more than enough money for the special chair that this benefit was organized for. Fortunately a friend at work won the bid. I know we'll have a good time, and I'll make sure that I'm extra charming and gentlemanly for the event. I think I may be banned from the Moose Club though :-) I don't think they've ever seen a pair of vinyl pants before, 'cept on that there M-T-V those kids watch. I'm laughing about it now but there was a moment where I wasn't sure whether it would be a good idea to put on the show that I wanted to. I was wearing two shirts and two pair of pants. When the bid got to $50 I took off the shirt. When the bid got to $75 I took off the belt. Hmmm I only got $20 more for taking off the pants... what's up with that? ;-)    The truth is there were not enough eligible women bidding, and I'm no Chippendale Dancer. Oh yeah, one other thing. The whole thing is on film. I guess I'm not running for public office anytime soon...        One day I'll chalk up the whole experience as misspent youth. At least life isn't boring.