I've lost my mind this morning. I'm currently at Dulles Airport and I arrived more than 3 hours before my flight. This was not intentional. I goofed. I made a mistake. When I travel for work, I am required to fill out an authorization form prior to making travel arrangements.. The authorization form includes an itinerary and the costs associated with it. Once I fill that out, my boss signs off, and I make my reservations. On this occasion, the itinerary changed between the authorization and the actual booking of the flight. So, to make a long story short, I based my departure time on my initial authorization and not the actual time. I'm lucky that I'm here early and not here late.

    I'm extremely tired. I got up before six on Saturday morning and then I stayed up until after midnight last night. This morning, I woke up a little after 6 and I'll probably be up late tonight, particularly with the time zone difference going against me. Last night, I joined some friends at the Lazy Susan Dinner Theatre. For 34.95 you get a large buffet meal and a play. Last night's play was Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians." It's also known under the title "And then there were none." The performers did a good job and it had moments of suspense and eerie chills. They modified the ending to have it finish on a positive note. The book was very good and is one of my favorites from Agatha Christie. The only problem for us, was that it ended at 11:30. As a result, I'm yawning a lot here in the airport. I could use a nap, that's for sure.

    Yesterday was my friends birthday. I meant to call her yesterday, but my day was packed from front to back with packing, cleaning and Dinner Theatre. I finally did send an e-mail her way at about 12:30 AM. It was sort of a belated birthday message I guess. She must have had a good time yesterday, because she sent me an e-mail at 3:30 AM. I'm starting to act old. 3:30 AM seems so out of the question. My preference would be to go to bed earlier and get up earlier.

    Because of the dinner theatre plans, I had to pass up an invitation to go skiing, tubing and snow boarding in Massanutten. (I'm spelling it phonetically because I've never seen it in print. It would have been fun, but I'll be honest, I really don't have good snow clothes. I've only been skiing once, and I probably won't be doing so while I'm in Colorado this time.

    Writing in the airport is so random. I try to think of things that have been going on my life, but I often get distracted by the people who walk by. For example , there is a woman at the counter who is trying to get herself out of the middle of the row. She's wearing a wedding ring. I noticed that I look at the hands right after I see the general shape and age of the woman in question. If the woman looks to be young enough, and small enough, I check the hands to see if she is married. Once I determine that status, I may look again at her face to determine age or general attractiveness. I look at men too, but only the absolutely ridiculous and the absolutely handsome warrant a second look. These aren't appreciative glances, mostly I just wonder what their thinking. I'm seeing a lot of young couples this morning. I'm assuming they are couples and not relatives. I would love to not travel alone as much as  I do, but there isn't much  I  can do about that right now. Hmm, I haven't really felt all that lonely over the last several months or so, but sitting in the airport for long periods of time tends to allow you to reflect on those sort of things.

    Before I get started on wife hunting, I need to finish house repair and house hunting. I spent several hours cleanig yesterday and I'm a little encouraged by what I need to do. Every room (except closets) are painted in different themes. I have several rooms to take care of, but I have some good friends in church who can help me out. I was also encouraged by the possibility that if I hire a professional carpet cleaner, they may allow me to keep my carpet, which would save me a ton on carpet replacement.

    I need more coffee. Perhaps I'll catch up later in the week. If you're really lucky, I might actually publish this thing this time.

    I'm currently listening to Paul Van Dyke's Global CD. He's a DJ and most of his songs are purely instrumental. On his new CD global he has put his greatest hits together and mixed one song into the next song so that it's one continuous composition. I'm really loving track 10, and it will be my reminder of my trip here to Colorado.

    Being back in Colorado has brought a fresh wave of nostalgia to me. A small part of me looks back with regret and loss that the times I spent here are gone, but that's just the nostalgia talking. Nostalgia is a balm that forgets how things really were back then. Life wasn't perfect back then, but it wasn't bad either. As I drive around I remember great nights and I remember heartbreak and I remember friends and fears.

    Tomorrow I plan to drive past my old house that my roommates lived in and we'll see how that goes.

    St. Patrick's Day 2003... I'm not wearing green and nobody pinched me today. I guess that people at work aren't really thinking about St Pattie's day. I can't blame them, my mind hasn't been on celebrating the event either. I've been pretty consumed by the thought of moving. Before I get into that news,  I wanted to offer my 2 cents on the Iraq thing. I think that it's about time that we get started with this. The nation has been pregnant with war and if we don't deliver soon, our economy will continue to experience birth pangs. Not until we resolve the Iraq crisis, will the economy get moving again. That is by far the least reason why we should be going to Iraq, but it fits best with my birth analogy. There are a hundred reasons to go, and only one reason not to. Faith is the only reason why we shouldn't go. Faith, that Sadaam will never use WMD's against us or our allies, or that we won't give them to a terrorist who will do the job for him. If that answer doesn't suffice, then we should look at the fact that the terms of surrender during the first gulf war forbid his development of these types of weapons. For 12 years, he hasn't complied. What use are the terms of surrender if he doesn't abide by them. What use are the terms of agreement if we don't seek to enforce them. If that's not enough, perhaps the torture of political dissidents and the murder of somewhere in the neighborhood of a million people would be enough for us to intervene. Some would argue that Bush is not listening to the American people and the world protests, well, the latest polls have 2/3 of the American public in favor of military action in Iraq.  Some say that we should go after North Korea first, because they are closer to having a nuclear arsenal.  This flies in the face of the argument that more diplomacy is needed in Iraq. We've had 12 years of diplomacy in Iraq. I'm not sure that we've even had a year with North Korea. Add to that the fact that it is easier to take out an opponent without Nukes.

    Alright, I'll step off of the socio-political soapbox. I'm just glad that we are finally getting started with this and I hope that it is swift and as bloodless as possible. I hope that a great deal of them hear the coming thunder and surrender and spare themselves the indignity of being cut down as one of Sadaam's shields.

    It's been a long time since I wrote to you folks. I apologize for the delay. Some of it couldn't be helped, some of it was just being busy. I went to Colorado Springs on business but I made every effort to spend time with old friends while I was out there and was able to see each of them for as long as I could. I discovered that one of my old friends is in the process of getting a divorce. It seems that her soon-to-be ex-husband was quite the prevaricator. She asked me while I was there if I liked him. I did for the most part, although I knew that I should take just about everything he said with a grain of salt. Some folks are good storytellers, and some think they are. Too many tales were just hard to believe. Her new boyfriend is great!!! I think he's the nicest guy and I hope that she doesn't mistake his politeness and courtesy for weakness. I hope that I haven't mistaken his humility as strength. I'll raise my glass to them this evening in hopes that she has found her knight.

    Work went really well while I was down in the Springs. It wasn't without it's problems, but I truly appreciated working with the area guy on the installation. We had a good time trading stories back and forth and it made the days fly by. After a few days of work, I drove myself up to Denver to spend time with my old roommate and my U2 buddy. My old roommate is doing about the same as when I last saw him 2 1/2 years ago. He's successful in business, he owns a home, a sweet car and he has a nice girlfriend. I had a chance to meet her before I left and I was pleasantly surprised at how well adjusted she appeared to be. I'll explain in a few. My U2 friend and I are quite simpatico. We both have a deep and profound love for U2 and we love to collect CD's and other memorabilia. He's a great guy to pal around with and would be an outstanding candidate for best friend, but he lives in Colorado, so we chat from time to time. He had a chance to meet my ex-roommate and he was kind of confused as to how we could have been so close once upon a time.  You see, my ex-roommate is a Goth. He like's everything dark and moody and has worn primarily black for at least 7 years, if not closer to 9. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to call him a hedonist in just about everything. I don't think that he would consider that to be an insult. I, on the other hand have continued to clean up my image over the last 7 years and thus I'm a lot more normal or preppy looking. So, when my U2 friend met him, he couldn't understand where the link was. Back in the days that we lived together, I was far less preppy and he was just discovering the scene. I had 4 earrings and I went clubbing and it was fun. I still enjoy the dancing, the music, the fashion and such, but I never was going to base my entire life around it. That's where we separate in our choices. For all that has changed in our lives, I still have a great love for him. No matter what happens, we'll always be brothers and those who see it from the outside, will never really understand. My U2 friend understood the connection later when he had a chance to get to know him. This brings me back to my ex-roommates new girlfriend. The Goth scene is one that produces an element of artists, losers and pretenders, with a smattering of the mentally ill. I was a pretender for six minutes. I knew that even though I enjoyed looking "cool" I wasn't willing to sacrifice a career for it. Fortunately, my roommate didn't have to. He makes more money than I do, and we compare every time we get together. He's really the only one that I'll be candid with on that topic. Anyway, a lot of those people in the Goth scene are not terrifically ambitious, and they often do destructive things to themselves. There aren't too many folks who stay in the scene for any length of time, so if someone does, chances are that they suffer from some malady of character or mental defect. I was pleasantly surprised that his girlfriend appeared to suffer from none of those things. She was environmental scientist and appeared to be doing just fine. Most likely, she enjoys the fashion, but I have no real idea. Not everyone can be put in one of my neat. Little. Boxes.

    My roommate and I had lunch with an ex-girlfriend of mine. We hadn't seen each other in almost 9 years. We met in mid January 1994. We met the same night that my ex-roommate and I took our first trip to Denver together to do CD shopping and clubbing. It all started that night only to be revisited nearly 9 years later. She's got married a few years back, so we all met for lunch. The lunch was quite lengthy because it was kind of hard to say goodbye, knowing the likelihood of another reunion 9 years down the road was slim. Some of the conversation was a bit awkward, because just like my old roommate and I had drifted into different areas, my ex-girlfriend and I also drifted apart ideologically. Over that span, I've become more conservative and I think that's she's become more liberal. I use the word think, because I don't know if she was into these things when she and I were dating. It doesn't much matter now I guess.

    The entire trip was a trip down memory lane for me. The nostalgia was running over the brim as I drove around Colorado Springs. Road signs would spark a memory and I would be immediately taken back. I truly missed being in Colorado and my heart cried for those times again. It took my head to correct my emotions. I had to remind myself that my life in those days were preoccupied with either one of two things. Maintenance of a relationship, or the desire for a relationship. There was only a brief time while I was in Colorado that I wasn't thinking of where I would meet and greet my next girlfriend. Sadly, the time for me was the summer of 1994 when it was all about the friends. Those were the beginning of my college years and I will miss us, even as I'm glad that we are not us, any longer. There are striations in my heart that were created in that time and place which I will never recover, and don't much want to. If I want to capture those memories, I just need to stay away for a sufficient amount of time so that the nostalgia replaces reason and my memory is negligible and irrelevant. I think it helps a lot that Colorado Springs hasn't changed a lot in the last 7 years. I can still see myself in the places that are there.

    Well, I've spent enough time talking about the trip and the war. Let me finish with a slight recap of what's happening with the home. Interest rates are looking good, housing prices have been rising and I need to get my butt out of here. I can make a pretty good profit from this home, and can probably pay off my car with the proceeds, which will alleviate some of the pressure that will be coming from increased cost of living that I will have when I move. Higher priced house means larger mortgage.

    BTW, the pets are doing well, they love the warmer weather. It means that I can fling open my back door and my pets can run around the yard. Spring is here, love is in the air... for some people and life is good. Night.

    I don't believe the headlines today. The war in Iraq has been on for 10 or 11 days and most of the stories I read are decidedly down beat. I know that war is hell and all of that, but can't we have a little bit of rah rah? Would it be so bad if the news were slanted a bit more toward America instead of giving equal weight to both sides. The journalists are American by birth after all, and if they lived in Iraq they wouldn't be able to report the truth anyway. I'm not asking for them to lie, but would it kill them to not look for the worst in everything that America does? Nothing annoys me more than when I bend over backwards to do the better than the right thing, and then I get slammed for making a mistake. This is what fighting for America's security has become. If you look at the death toll for the Allied forces. Nearly half of the deaths can be attributed to accidents. The other half of the deaths seem to have been caused by trickery on the part of the Iraqis. Hardly any of the deaths have come as a result of combat. On the other hand, we've killed and captured thousands of Iraqis. If you read the news, you'd think we were losing.

    I didn't really follow the war over the weekend as I was involved in home remodeling (more on that later) and I've realized that I didn't really miss much by not paying attention. For now, I just look at the headlines and pretty much wait until there is something interesting to report. Things will happen when they happen and wringing my hands won't bring a conclusion any faster. Do I think it's tragic to lose even one life over in Iraq? Yeah, and that's why I think that an eternal perspective helps. I also think it helps to be a bit pragmatic as well. We can't save everyone in the world, so we try to make good decisions for the betterment of mankind. Having said that... and believing that there is an afterlife, I think that we value this life too much. It may sound cold, but without this type of perspective, I might be tempted to despair whenever life doesn't hand me what I want, or to mourn unreasonably when a person dies. If we were to walk around with the thought that this is it, all the time. We would be wrecked.

    It snowed yesterday!!! Can you believe it? It was in the 60's on Saturday and it felt great! Sunday was a huge surprise for me. I spent the day on Saturday supervising and provisioning my own army of painters. The folks in my church are great! I put out an e-mail to a number of people, requesting help so that I could quickly move out of here and the response was perfect. Any more people and the place would have been claustrophobic. Any fewer and I wouldn't have completed as much work. There is still work to be done, but my list of tasks has shortened significantly. I still have to do some touching up of the rooms, but it's quite minor over all. At least, I think so :-)

    I'm quite tired this evening, because I slept poorly last night. All weekend I was on the go and got little sleep, so last night I figured that I would catch up and get to work nice and early. Unfortunately that didn't happen exactly as planned. Because the weather has been nice the last several weeks, I turned off my heat in the house. Well, the temperature dipped yesterday and by the time I got home it was quite cool in here. So I jacked the temperature up to 72 degrees and retired to bed. I woke up at least a half dozen times last night because I was cold and so I pulled the covers over myself to keep warm. What my sleep addled brain didn't realize was that I hadn't turned ON the heat last night, and by the time I woke up the house temperature was less than 50 degrees. My temperature gauge doesn't register under 50 degrees by the way, so I don't know how cold it really was.

    Since I've started this whole house repair push toward a new home, I've put about 20 of my favorite CD's in the player and pushed random, most of the CD's are from my early 20's so I have little control of the outcome. Today is REM's turn to shine.