I made it! Life isn't perfect yet, but I did get to wear shorts today! My drive down was good for me. Not so good for Honey. She was scared and just sat in her box barely moving and keeping her ears at attention to all the things around her. She is much better now. She is currently sitting on my lap, and she is almost back to normal. I have kept her exclusively in my room so that she can become comfortable in this setting prior to running about the house. I would keep her in my room, but there isn't a window for her to get sunshine from. Cats, like people need some sunshine in their lives.
My stuff arrived today. The move was mostly uneventful. Fortunately, my next move will be somewhat local so I won't have to bother with a moving company. Next up, establishing a banking account, and learn to live with the hectic traffic patterns around this area. It's become really bad traffic-wise. It was bad enough when I left 8 years ago. Yep, I left Virginia on Friday, November 13, 1992, and I've been gone for nearly 8 years.
I spent a good portion of today, putting my room in order. I've got the computer set up and the stereo plugged in. I don't have unlimited space, so there is quite a bit in storage. I was just thinking about the job hunt. I think that I'm starting to get worried about it, then I think, no I'm not really worried, so much as not like having the outcome be unknown. I want my next job to be a step forward. I worked very hard at the last one, so that I could make this sort of step. We'll see. Nobody's starving, everything is A-OK.
Oh yeah, I got to be Uncle Tim tonight. I watched the kids for a couple of hours. They gave me a gift and completely behaved. I know that won't always be the case, they are kids after all.
Well, it's really late, even with the time zone difference. I'm pulling your leg, there is no time zone difference between New York and Virginia. We did set the clocks back this weekend though...
Last thing. I'm grooving on the new U2 album, you knew I would. Go buy it, take it home and immerse yourself in it. Here is my track by track assessment of the album.
1. Beautiful Day - Great opening song and lead off single. You've probably already heard it on the radio.
2. Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of - Addictive, will be sung by the masses before too long. It's catchy, it's deep, it's open to interpretation for what it means to you.
3. Elevation - Despite the sometimes cheesy lyrics, this song moves and you go with it. Plus it's got a real cool bridge/refrain. Should be a Single.
4. Walk On - Slow beginning, trademark U2 guitars, anthemic chorus and good lyrics. If they drop the first 6 seconds, it will be a good single.
5. Kite - Pretty music, great chorus. Song to dedicate to a friend, or anyone that is leaving your immediate life. Someone could probably dedicate this to me, at the moment. Any volunteers?
6. In A Little While - Bono's soulful serenade to his wife. It's good, it has a simple arrangement. Bono's vocals are so pleading that he probably won't be able to reproduce it on tour quite the same way.
7. Wild Honey - Silly, fun, pretty catchy.
8. Peace On Earth - A plea, a prayer. Slow beginning, great lyrical picture, gets much better after the first minute.
9. When I Look At The World - I love the music on this one, but it won't bowl you over. It's just so pleasant. Plus the message for this song is well written.
10. New York - Bono's speech on how he views New York. Good music, I woke up singing this yesterday morning.
11. Grace - I'm having a hard time staying with this song for very long. I keep wanting the song be something else. It's not bad, but I do get bored, so I often flip it. It has moments, and the music is pretty enough.
All in all, there are only 2 songs that I want to skip while listening, and they both get better as the track moves on. There really isn't a bad track on the album. I can't wait for the tour.
I went to my brother's wrestling practice today. I coached this team in in the winter of 1996. It's been about 4 years since then. Amazingly enough, there are 7 kids on the team who have brother's who wrestled during the one year that I was coaching. I managed to get a nice scrape on the left side of my eye. I was lucky that his nail didn't find my eyeball and contact lenses. It's a nice little momento, I can't wait to bring it to my first interview down here. ;-). My brother phrased it oh so well. I'll just tell them that I was doing community service by helping out the local sports teams. I really need to work on my PR.
I'm actually quite exhausted. I'm pretty out of shape for wrestling. I've missed the sport. It's one of those one on one sports that require only you, which I like. My brother is looking for an assistant coach, but it's doubtful that I will be able to do anything about that. The hours are tough to make.
Well, this is going to be a short entry, I've been doing mostly mundane stuff like calling the phone company and rooting through my items in storage. I have been actively playing Uncle Tim, which is good. Honey is fine. She is currently sacked out on the bed. The kids like her and Honey appreciates the attention, most of the time.
I've been meaning to write for the last couple of days, but I keep getting side-tracked before I can put anything down. I've been getting lost all week long. I grew up in a town not far from here, but I never had much occasion to drive much beyond it's perimeter. Add changes to that and I'm perpetually lost. On Tuesday, I decided to go out and just drive around to my old record buying haunts. I couldn't find any of them. I drove around Northern Virginia taking this road and that, not really knowing which path was the best one back to where I live. I did pass my old house and my Alma Mater. My boyhood home is being remodeled/expanded. They are making the house twice as big as the original. The house was pretty big to begin with, so I don't know what is going on. Rumor has it that the new owner is setting up some sort of ISP or something else internet related. Maybe he's putting in a computer room. Who knows. I stayed up until 4:00 AM on Wednesday morning watching the election. It was like watching a sporting event. Now that it's 5 days later, the match is still on. It's like triple overtime now. If Gore finally gets a recount that pleases him, is it then done? Or we will recount on top of recount. How we can be certain, if they aren't? I don't want to spend too much time on this, because I could easily fill an entire diary entry on some of the nuances of this. I just hope it's over soon.
Verizon came in on Wednesday and rewired my line. Turns out that whomever came in here last, put in a rat's nest of wires. Verizon rewired free of charge, and I'm now able to have the full complement of services. Bonus!
On Thursday I went to dinner with an old friend and her friend from the now infamous state of Florida. We had sushi. It was the first time for me, and I can honestly say, I don't really care for it. Some types of rolls were better than others, but on the whole, I'll pass. It was nice to see her, particularly since I don't really know that many people in the area, plus she's a firecracker. She'll be reading this so I will not go into too much detail. She noticed that I hadn't put any names of women that I was interested in etc. I try to protect the people around me, so that there lives are not put up for inspection. You may be able to read between the lines and discover who one person is, but for the most part, if I'm still on speaking terms with someone, I won't write anything that is remotely disparaging. I've only written about two ex's in here that I don't talk to anymore. I've tried to be fair and restrained in my thoughts. It wouldn't be fair to hang them in effigy. All in all, it was enjoyable evening and it was nice to see her again after all this time.
On Friday, I helped out my friend by driving her friend to Pentagon City. We printed out directions and set about going there for lunch. I discovered that it's about 63 miles around the beltway. Once again, I got lost, missed my exit, and then found it all the way around the beltway. We did finally arrive and I was able to deliver my friend's friend to her. After arriving, she apologized to me, since it was technically a favor that I was doing for them, but it really wasn't a big deal. I'm not sure what else I would have done with my time. Besides, her friend was nice and we were laughing at ourselves. To top it off, when I said goodbye to them at the Pentagon City Mall (I don't know what it's really called), I was talking and walking backwards, when I knocked over a cone (you know, the beware of water cones) and nearly hit the floor myself when trying to catch it. It was a stupidly awkward moment, not suave at all. Not that I was trying to be suave, but if I were, I failed. Fortunately, the drive back was uneventful. I need a job. It's given me much purpose in the past. I need to continue having that purpose in the present. But, oh how I hate looking for one.
On a completely unrelated topic, I realize that I've been a little bit more impatient with my nieces and nephews than I ought to be. I haven't blown up at them or anything extreme like that, but I've found that I'm just a little edgier than I would like to be. I believe it's primarily because I don't have a job. Without a satisfying job, it's harder to feel complete and content. I feel as though I'm wasting enough time of my own, and I don't want anyone else to waste the time that I haven't wasted yet. It's really quite selfish. Mental note to self: work on patience, give more than you take.
I rented two films this weekend. Fight Club and Frequency. Both were enjoyable, both movies had surprises and moved at a good pace. Fight Club is from the same director who made Seven and The Game. I love his style and the movies that he chooses to make are stark, graphic and keep you guessing. Time to sign off, the family is home, and I have to grab some lunch.
Well, I'm officially in job search mode. To a certain degree, I just started on Monday. I went to a job fair on Monday for IT professionals with two or more years experience in the field. I have two years experience, but since I chose to work as an Operations Manager, I wasn't qualified for many of the jobs there. I was pretty frustrated and daunted when I left the fair. I was disappointed that my experience wasn't going to be strong enough for the type of jobs I was looking for. Actually, it isn't that I don't have enough experience, it's that I have the wrong experience. I have come to a few conclusions over the past 24 hours. One: I don't want to be in the same position two years from now, looking up at the jobs I truly want. Two: In order to accomplish that, I will need to accept an entry level position in programming or networking. Three: I will not take a help desk job, or an operations job. Four: I can afford to wait for the right job for my future. My two years of hard work, paid off monetarily, so I'll be fine.
It's taken a little time for me to get used to the fact that I will be doing entry level IT work, but I'm ok with that now. To a certain degree, I'm changing careers, and I have all the faith in the world that I will be good on either career path. I'm smart enough for it, and I refuse to let things get me down for too long. Today is a new day, and I am sending out more resumes and putting my resume out on search engines. I'm trying to keep a good attitude, and to not panic about anything. In reality I don't have much to panic about, I have a roof over my head, money in the bank, I'm surrounded by family, and I have a network of friends that I have to e-mail after I complete this journal entry. All in all, I still have much to be thankful for.
On a related note: The American Dream. I'm certain, that I will never really be satisfied, I may be content, but satisfaction is a harder goal. Some people accept their limitations and go on to do good things and are happy about it. I'm not ready to accept my limitations, or even to define them yet. Perhaps one day, I will be able to. I guess, for now, it suits me to keep reaching for the brass ring, otherwise, I may sell myself short. Only time will tell.
Time for lunch, not much else going on except this job search thing.
There is something very unwise about making a half pot of coffee at 8 PM at night. So goes the writer's muse. I haven't been writing very often lately even though I have had the time. I've been in my cave. To preface this line of thought, I will describe where the cave reference comes from. I was talking to a friend of mine from Albany, and she was reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I have not read this book, but I hear it's quite interesting and helpful for those who completely misunderstand the opposite sex. I'll read it when I get a chance, I know that I still have quite a bit of ignorance about women. Anyway, she quoted two ideas to me about how men and women deal with problems. Women, when confronted with problems like to talk about them, but don't necessarily want a solution. They are content to get it out. Men, when confronted with a problem, go into their cave until they figure out a solution. They are less prone to discuss the problem. I agree with this assessment, I rarely write about my problems without already knowing the solution that I plan to implement. If I don't have a solution, I'll stay in my cave until I get one. In regards to job searching, I'm in my cave. I haven't yet decided on what to do next. I have come to a few conclusions about things, but they are mostly related to 1-2 years down the road. I have not reached a resolution for today as of yet. I am throwing my resume out there and am beginning to practice my programming skills by tackling new languages so that I will prepared in the future. I have thought about continuing education etc. but I haven't made up my mind as of yet. I can tell you that I feel guilty for every moment that I am not working on a way to improve my current situation. It's very hard for me to sit down and enjoy a moment these days, knowing I could be out there making myself a better person.
To fill my days, I've been helping out with my brother's wrestling team. On Saturday they hosted a tournament and I helped out with scoring and weigh-ins, as well as supervising the wrestlers as they set up the mats for the day. All of this was superceded by being Uncle Tim though. I was responsible for video-taping my nephew Jonathan. He had 3 matches during the day which lasted for a total of 1 minute and 33 seconds. He over-powered every kid he wrestled and had three relatively quick pins. He's got that wiry sort of strength. He looks scrawny, but he has a pretty tough grip. I've also been going to practice on a regular basis.
Well, unfortunately I have to cut this entry short. I need to shut off my computer so I can install a NIC card and to help my brother to get his computer up and running. Ciao!
Ok, I'm back after a brief hiatus. I was able to help my brother out and successfully add a new NIC card to my machine. All in all a success. I've been buying computer stuff this week. I bought a 20GB hard drive, a 56K modem (they are a lot cheaper these days, I must say) and a Visual Basic Compiler. I'm working on my programming skills so I wanted to get something to help me out. The nice thing about Programming versus Networking in a career path sense, is that I wouldn't be able to do any Networking without a job. At least I can program with a small investment. I'm starting to lean toward programming right now as my choice of career. In the past, I was a bit concerned that I wouldn't enjoy it, even though I could do it. Part of the reticence came from a lack of confidence, and a belief that people around me understood much more than I did. The truth is that I'm somewhere in the middle of the pack. I'm not particularly gifted on the number crunching aspect of things, but if you mix my intellect with my understanding of people and what they want a program to do, then you're looking at a decent product in some respects. You'll always need the engineer type to create an exciting product, but chances are they won't make it user friendly. I, myself, am user friendly ;-) So, I'm sure that my combination will be work out just fine. Besides, I've seen some of the yahoo's that pass themselves off as programmers, and I'm a bit disappointed in what I've seen. So, I just have to dedicate my spare time to learning new stuff, and as I progress, I will see if any of those new skills will help enhance my web-site. Which I know you'll be happy about ;-) I'm feeling a bit sarcastic tonight, so you're getting a little bit of my cheeky side. Hope you don't mind. Actually, I would love to take this opportunity to thank all of you who stay tuned to this station. I love having an audience, so I apologize for not posting more often, it's a cave thing, you wouldn't understand. ;-)
Hey, in two days it will be Thanksgiving! My parents are driving down from New York and my sister is driving up on Wednesday as well. There is a lot to look forward to in that regard. In light of my circumstances, I'm still thankful for what I have. I'm disappointed that this job search hasn't gone better thus far, but I do have a roof over my head, I've got food, (cooked by someone else at least once a day, you can't beat that), and I have family. I was talking to one of the janitor's at my brother's school the other night. We started talking while I was waiting for kids to show up at weigh-ins. He initiated the conversation, and eventually he delved into his own personal life. He is from D.C. but had been laid off after he began to have seizures while on the job. He has been sliding down the job ladder, but like anyone else, he copes and he has opinions. I listened to a number of them, and although didn't exactly agree with them, I appreciated the fact that I don't see things his way. Primarily because I'm privileged in a number of ways. I'm smart enough, attractive enough, personable enough, I have a loving family and I'm young. I was dealt a decent enough hand. At times I get a little full of myself, and it's good to be humbled a bit. This job search has done that a bit. Humbling one's self and losing confidence are two different things. I think this may be the first time in my life that I haven't packaged them together. It's hard not to. They both are attached to my ego.
I think I'm done being philosophical. It's time to go to bed. The only problem is that I had coffee about 4 hours ago. How stupid was that? I'll learn one day.
Ok, I'm back once again. Actually I never left, but I wasn't actively typing on this particular page, so I guess I've returned. I discovered something absolutely simple that will enhance your viewing pleasure. You, the loyal reader, will never have to scroll down through all my old entries again. You may now use the bookmarks I've placed throughout my entire diary to reach every entry in a single month. This will allow those who have been gone to choose the day that they left off reading, and then they can continue from there. All you need to do is raise your eyes a few inches to the top and you'll see a list of numbers. The numbers correspond with the days of the month that I have written on. Just click on it and your in business. I'm very pleased by this new direction. Anything that I can do to serve you better makes me happy. ;-) I've also changed the font to Arial for this entire part of the site. I hope that it makes it easier to read. Everyone has their preferences, so hopefully it's an acceptable change for you. Well, it truly is goodnight now. I have definitely run out of interesting things to say.
Has it really been 9 days since I've written? Hmm, I guess I'm still in my cave. I'm still searching for a job, but my spirit is lessened, I'm waking up everyday searching for more oomph and drive to go toward this subject. I haven't been completely idle, nor have I been filling up my days either. I'm living in the land of milk and honey, where jobs are supposed to be a plenty, and that is true. I've decided to start applying for jobs that I'm not really qualified for in the hopes that they will find something else for me to do. I started my search with only those jobs that I knew that I was qualified for. I keep forgetting that the advertised job is not always as dead on as it sounds. If you were to advertise the job that I just did, as it was done by me, then you'd be hard pressed to find someone with the exact skill set. I don't want to spend much time talking about the whole job search, but I'm a little concerned that December will probably not yield a job. Christmas season is usually not a good time for hiring in the professional arena, and I'm not working retail, just so that I can have a job. I do have a job of sorts in the meantime. I've been hired as the assistant coach at my brother's school. I've been going to practice, so I might as well collect a paycheck at the end of the season. Even if I get a job before then I'll still go to the matches and assist with the Junior Varsity and Freshmen wrestlers. It's kind of funny, when I walk into the room, a number of the wrestlers will say "Timmay!" For those who don't know, this is a reference to "South Park".
I'm also working on retraining myself as well. I'm getting more in depth with Visual Basic 6.0. This language totally appeals to me, primarily because you can create applications quickly and see a result. I'm also considering further education. We'll see what happens.
Thanksgiving was good. My whole family was down here and it was fun to see everyone together at one time. It was a handful at times with so many children. Like most families we have our family squabbles, but this year things were more quickly patched up. Every year, it's getting better and better, as we the children come to grips with being adults.
Sorry, I'm having a hard time coming up with interesting things to report as my life feels mundane at the moment. I would prefer to not complain about my circumstances, but I'll be honest about my expectations falling short of my results and my ego is deflating daily, which isn't totally bad. I need reality checks every once in a while. I'll talk to you later.