If you have read my diary, you know that I've been unemployed for a couple of weeks. It has been a pretty rough time for me. I used my last $25 to create my sandwich board, and to buy beer. These fools thought it was a joke and I only made 50 cents. Financially, it was a wasted evening. With the election coming up, the Pets.com spokesperson interviewed me to find out whether I preferred elephants or donkeys, I ignored his question, at which time he proceeded to hump my leg. Interview over.

HELP! Unemployed veteran soon
to be homeless, will work for fooood!
I AM a victim of the healthcare industry
I LIKE you, do you LIKE me?
It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away
I was GREAT once

Scene Missing

I'm grimy, yet oddly appealing

SORRY, I'M LATE, I was stenciling

I am NOT a billboard for what's wrong

with America



I think I'm missing something

I'm not an artist, I'm an entertainer

I Like to watch... First

No that's not a codpiece, but thanks for asking


Being clever is exhausting

If you can read this, move your head up

Let's be Friends

and a little to the right.
Yeah, that's the spot!

Much fear I sense in you

Time is running out, make your move

The end of the world is nigh

Happy Halloween


Return to Me

Hey Brother, can you spare a dime?
You're beautiful and you DON'T know it
I thought that would get your attention
Will someone please get me a beer?
Some people can read me like a book
OK, I am a walking billboard
Whether you like it or not, you are
judged by your speech and dress
Intentionally left blank
I don't believe in self-promotion
to learn more visit
All the really good cliches have been
the WONDERBRA is false advertising
Quit looking at my Bum,
you bum looker
It's complicated, you wouldn't understand

Don't forget to set

your clocks back.

I hate to be melodramatic
But would you give me
your money otherwise?
I Sighned up for unemployment and
all I got was this damn sign
I should have bought a costume
Hi, my name is Tim, I'm leaving...
Painstakingly reproduced phrases from my sandwich board are for both your enjoyment, and mine. Hopefully, I won't have to take my sandwich board on the road anytime soon. Here's to gainful employment.